Why Simply Failing Is Ok.
I have failed. Many times. In many superficial and sometimes deep and tragic ways. Did I fail forward? Nope. Did I refuse to fail? No, again.
I actually just failed.
And guess what? Even though positivity pundits may disagree, I am ok with failing.
Don’t get me wrong. Failing is scary. But it doesn’t mean you are a failure. And that is the part many people don’t understand. So they write posts and create Pinterest boards about failing. They dress it up with lipstick quotes and filigree edges. They reframe it with cliffside images and 50-point Impact Font.
They want us to believe that we have complete control over failure. That, if we cannot assert your resolute power over it, and “fail forward,” then, sadly we are a double failure.
In our fragile moments of failure, when every option is exhausted and we need a full stop, the added pressure of turning a negative into a positive is not helpful. It compounds the distress, and is harmful to our mental health.
You Can Do It
Now, I do recognize the benefit of being coached over the finish line. To get up, wipe off those skinned knees and hobble towards the end. Sometimes we need that push, the crowd chant, the motivational calendar to enable our little voice to drive us forward.
And sometimes, we don’t.
You see, there is an inherent pressure from self-help gurus to look on the bright side and push through every obstacle, even insurmountable ones. But why? Are we too fragile to sit with a negative feeling? Can’t we simply acknowledge and move on? Is there nothing to learn from a complete and utter failure? Is there no growth associated with that personal or professional discomfort?
But, as anyone who has ever failed can attest. That is not the reality of failing.
You see, in my profession, I produce ideas. To get to an approval takes some work. Sometimes, we produce 10–20 concepts to get to one. Yep, that means failure happens at least 90% of the time for me.
But I’m not a failure. My partner and I have our own agency, Cast Iron LA. We have won several Cannes Lions, One Show, Webbys, Shortys and others. I’ve written dozens of articles for AdWeek, HuffPo, FastCo, and other industry pubs. And I challenge myself on a daily basis.
In that same breath, I also recognize that I’ve failed many more times than I’ve succeeded. That’s for damn sure.
Separating The Art From The Artist
What age and experience has taught me is to not take a failed attempt personally. You must be able to separate the art from the artist. You must be ready to take risks, knowing that failure is much more likely in the short term. The real learning here is to acknowledge the failure, and move on (not necessarily forward) from it.
There is no reason to dwell on a lost cause.
Yet, the key to a healthy approach to failure is to resist the temptation to repackage it as a false positive. Failure is not the self-assured interviewee spinning a weakness into a strength. Failure is not a prune, re-branded as a dry plumb. Failure is simply failure. Up, down, forward, back, it doesn’t really matter the direction, or the Canva template you use to share the inspiring lesson to your Pinterest Board.
Failing is not the problem. The real problem is acceptance. Then, continuing to put in the time and effort to extend your comfort zone to make something great. Or not. It’s really up to you.
The Danger Of Not Taking Risks
As an industry, I think we are failing. And not up. I don’t have cable, but whenever I see broadcast work, much of it feels the same. The “risk” is everyone trying to make a commercial look like a homegrown Tik-Tok. Shaky camerawork, carefully cast “real” people. De-rezzing from film to make it seem more organic. But the real risk is that it all looks the same. And that risk presents much more danger.
We live in a world where so many brands’ achilles heel is risk aversion. They use data and audience analysis and focus groups to look through the peephole to see what’s outside. And that prevents failing. At least, big fails. But it also prevents big gains, by the same margin, as most of the work is immediately forgettable.
So it follows that by mitigating risk, oftentimes we unknowingly create it by falling into the herd, unnoticed. Wasting time, money and energy to create mediocrity that lacks any distinct voice or POV.
And that is the ad industry, in a nutshell.
Making Peace With Failure
To better stretch our wings and be comfortable with risk, we must confront failure. Not a sugar-coated version of it, but the real stuff. The stuff that makes you mad. That makes you cry. The failure that makes you second guess everything. The contemplative moments that strip you to your core. Where you lay in bed, tossing a sock at the ceiling, wondering where you went wrong. Not exactly looking for an answer, just feeling the need to ask the question.
Over and over.
And in those times when we confront failure, we must take personal responsibility. It is easy to blame others for our failures, especially in a team setting, but owning the failure is the first step towards moving on from it. And a mind deep set in confidence, leadership and experience, may be exactly what we need.
Failing, in the end, is about letting go. It’s not about moving forward. It’s simply about moving. In any direction, cutting losses, pushing through, or taking a breather to see if the best next step is ahead or behind.
We spend so much time trying to helicopter parent ourselves away from failure, that if we simply learn to accept it, and realize it’s just another part of our lives, then we won’t spend so much time and energy navigating around it.
That approach presents the opportunity to create with clarity, rather than simply trying to mitigate risk. Or feeling pressured to learn a lesson that may not be there.
Decide For Yourself How To Move On From Failure
Many of us have been conditioned away from failure, in both our personal and professional lives. But, our relationship with failure is for us to decide, not others.
We may not be able to control the outcome, but we can control our reaction. So stop listening to people who merely evangelize the positive side of failure. Because the negative side of it is just as important. It is an outcome we must all confront so we are not afraid of it.
This way, we can move through failure, with the bravery and conviction to continue to take risks, that will create better work, better relationships, and better mental health.
